And Isn’t That So Much Better
When I took this job as Art Chapel Director back in August, I was fully aware that it would entail fundraising. Every year I am to raise 50% of my salary. That means every year I need to raise $17,680. I knew this and it didn’t intimidate me in the slightest. I would send out some letters, talk to some people, I could do it.
Then, back in November, I sent out my first letter to some friends and family and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I have no control over this. In my head, there were only two realities. Either people were going to read my letter, be hypnotized by the beauty of my words, and then they would be so mesmerized and moved they would choose to support me and my ministry. Or people were going to read my letter, look at it confused, laugh at it (not in the “this is funny” way but the “this is kind of awful” way), and then use it in their next game of trash ball. There was no in-between in my head. And I thought the latter was most likely.
After this rollercoaster of thoughts ran rampant through my mind, I had to take a step back and process this reality. A reality where I had no control over the outcome. Frankly, I’m not quite used to that. I’m used to always having an element of control. When I wanted to pass a test, I had control over how I studied. When I wanted to learn guitar, I had control over who taught me and how long I practiced. But with this fundraising, I was out of my element. I guess I had control over what I wrote in my letter and who I sent it to, true. But once it was sent, I realized in the grand scheme of it all, control was something I had very little of.
While processing all of this - the realization of my lack of control, the fear of what that could mean - something else hit me. This time, less like a ton of bricks and more like a breath of fresh air. Sure, I wasn’t in control…but God is. And isn’t that so much better?
Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV) says, “The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
God is with me. God is before me. God is working for His great and wonderful will. His plan is in motion, and I can take great comfort in that.
I’m happy to say I reached my fundraising goal for 2023. It wasn’t as large as the $17,680 as I wasn’t hired until late in the year. Still, the amount of relief I felt in knowing that goal was reached is unexplainable. If you are someone who helped support me in my goal, either by giving financially or by giving prayers, I truly cannot thank you enough. Your support means the world.
And now I move into 2024, with a new and, albeit, more intimidating goal. But I will not be afraid. I will not be discouraged. For God is in control. And isn’t that so much better?
